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A Theology of Friendship

No one really thinks of friendship as having a theology. I really didn’t, yet there is a deeply rooted component in friendship that is tied to the creation of mankind. From the very beginning God had deemed it not good for man to be alone. Now, “alone” is an interesting concept. One can be in a room by himself for long periods of time and be content with himself while another can be surrounded by multitudes of people and feel completely isolated. Here is a quote from Aelred of Rievaulx, a Cistercian monk from the 12th century,

And those men who were around me, but who were ignorant of the things which went on within me, kept saying, “How lucky he is, how lucky he is.” But they did not know there was an evil within me, where only good should be. Terrible was the distress I felt within myself, tormenting me, corrupting my soul with intolerable stench (Aelred, Mirror of Charity, I: 79).

Aelred has touched on what, I believe, many people are realizing as they become more aware of their own human condition. With all the company surrounding him, Aelred was feeling an un-connectedness in his relationships. While he was wrestling with the things inside him, his “friends” took no notice but rather thought he was doing quite well. There was a disconnect between the two. Aelred then continues to say, ”And unless you had quickly stretched out your hand, not being able to tolerate myself, I might have taken the most desperate remedy of despair.” He points out a critical turning point when someone had reached out to him. While it requires further reading of the context, it is clear that this connection was quite different from the previous.

Friendship indeed requires a theology, for God created man to be in relationship with people. But this requires a certain understanding of what this friendship relationship entails. People can walk down the streets of Chicago to and from work, commuting on the bus or subway and hide from the rest of the world in their own individual apartment units with a box of ice cream and latest DVD. I realize that just being surrounded by people is not enough. It takes a certain intention and strength to seek out exactly what God has intended. I am currently going through the book, “Spiritual Friendship” by Aelred of Clairveaux, after thinking long about the kinds of relationships that I am in and what makes some special more than others. I am hoping to gain a better understanding of the nature of friendship and to see what sort of importance and implications it has on out lives.

One Way of Going About Courtship

I’ve been inspired, recently, concerning the measure to which a man must follow his calling from God. This is a portion of a letter from Adoniram Judson to John Hasseltine, father of his soon-to-be wife, asking for Ann Hasseltine’s hand in marriage. It goes,

I have now to ask, whether you can consent to part with your daughter early next spring, to see her no more in this world; whether you can consent to her departure, and her subjection to the hardships and sufferings of a missionary life; whether you can consent to her exposure to the dangers of the ocean; to the fatal influence of the southern climate of India; to every kind of want and distress; to degradation, insult, persecution, and perhaps a violent death. Can you consent to all this; for the sake of the perishing, immortal souls; for the sake of Zion, and the glory of God? Can you consent to all this, in hope of soon meeting your daughter in the world of glory, with the crown of righteousness, brightened with the acclamations of praise which shall redound to her Saviour from heathens saved, through her means, from eternal woe and despair?

John Hasseltine left it up to his daughter to make up her own mind. They did marry, and she did die in a far off foreign land. her story of perseverance and and dedication to the missionary task is just as incredible as was her husbands.

I have to wonder what kind of man, in his strategy for achieving his wife, would present a myriad of sufferings for an engagement present, and would promise a father would never again see his daughter in this life? I don’t know what possessed Judson to ask in such a manner, nor allow John Hasseltine place his faith in her daughter to make her own decision except for a complete faith and trust in God.

Worship Image: Freedom

After one semester and several finals, I can finally say “I’m free!” I’m not really free from anything that was holding me captive, but just the accomplishment and finality of the semester makes me feel free. Finishing a task, taking a burden off your shoulders, that just makes you want to lift your hands. I’ve been set free!

“Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom” (2 Cor 3:17). God has called us to a life of freedom, freedom from slavery, freedom from sin, freedom from oppression, freedom from the Law… If we truly knew that we have been set free, how can we not help but to lift up our hands?

But here’s the other side of the truth. Had Andy Dufresne escaped from prison without any money he had stashed away, he’d have nowhere to go. Freedom for the sake of freedom is useless. It’s like escaping from a prison to find that it’s in the middle of the ocean. Freedom through Christ, on the other hand, is not a dead-end situation. Galatians 4:7 says, “So you are no longer a slave, but a son; and since you are a son, God has made you also an heir.” God has signed us out of prison, picked us up in his limo, gave us his robe and ring and called us sons and daughters. He has not freed us to let us fend for ourselves. How can we not help but to lift up our hands? 

My chains are gone, I’ve been set free.
My God, my Savior has ransomed me…

Worship Image: Surrender

In the Spring of 1945, Germany surrendered to the Allied Forces. The fact of Hitler’s suicide decisively brought down any hope for victory in Europe. Many factors may have led to the point of the Axis’ defeat, but the loss of their leader was a decisive moment in the mindset of its people. Some continued to fight for days after Hitler’s death, though most knew that they were headed in no positive direction. Eventually the war did end, and peace came home.

Surrender is an interesting word (I realize only after doing a little research for this blog). Break up the word into its parts and you get “sur” and “render”. To render is to give something or to present something to someone. In the case of surrender, one is giving over themselves to the will of the other party. This means giving no resistance, a passive act, but it also means giving cooperation, an active approach.

We raise our hands in surrender to show that we are no longer resisting. The hands are your tools for action. You need your hands to start the car, open a door, brew a pot of coffee, shoot a gun. When you raise your hands, you’re saying, “Here I am, I can’t do anything.” Traditionally you are also saying, “I give up.”

When we raise our hands in worship we are saying, “Here I am, I can’t do anything.” It’s the same idea. We worship in the presence of God presenting (rending) ourselves, showing that we are here. We also acknowledge that we can’t do anything. We can’t truly worship on our own, we can’t save ourselves on our own, we can’t understand God on our own. We need the Spirit to act on our behalf in worship.

When we raise our hands in worship we are rending ourselves to God. We are surrendering our old way of life and returning to what God desires. We are offering ourselves as a gift, or better an offering. Paul writes to the Romans, “Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship” (12:1). There is a giving component in the worship concept. Worship is rendered and surrendered.

Rend your heart and not your garments.
Return to the LORD your God…
Joel 2:13a

Worship Image: Hail to the Victors!

Picture this, you are hunched over a 15 inch computer monitor overlooking espn.com realtime scores as Michigan makes an incredible comeback from a 19-0 deficit. You can imagine the room is tense and you can hear a pin drop falling in the back of the room. Then you see the webpage automatically refresh itself to show that Michigan has won the game, and an uproar fills the room of the news of sweet victory!!!

Well, maybe not. Michigan did win, and I retired to my room quiet and solemn, being the lone Wolverine fan on campus. In contrast, the victory held in Ann Arbor must have been quite different. There was no silent moment of meditation, no reflection of how technically and tactically effective a certain play was at that very key moment. No, that job is for those who sit behind desks and get paid to share their thoughts. No, in the Big House a very different thought must have been running in people’s minds. We won! It’s over! Victory! And with conditioned training, the words, “Hail to the Victors!” may come to mind, because we were victorious, and that’s something to be said this season.

An athlete may raise his arms, representing the strength and effort that was called for in such a victory. Or he may stretch out his arms declaring that the race is finished. A soldier may hold up his standard high declaring the battle is won. Much like these, the worshipper declares all this and much more. The worshipper knows that victory is achieved, the work is finished, the battle is won. He is able to raise his hands in light of that.

Look Up!

The one thing I can appreciate about being in the middle of nowhere is that you can look up and see the stars. You don’t get that in Chicago (though I remember being able to see stars when I was younger). It seems pretty fitting for seminary to not only teach you the theologies and such about God, but also show you God’s handy-work of creation.

I can’t help but give another plug for Louie’s talk that makes Him Indescribable. He truly is.

Worship Image: Cry Abba!

Once in a while I catch myself wondering why we do the things we do during worship. Is it a natural response, or is it learned from watching others? I am not here to argue the nature/nurture debate, but am merely making observations of worship in everyday life. That is, after all, probably the best place to find worship occurrences, in the everyday.

Before we learned to talk, or walk, or were able exegete Scripture, before we were able to sing or dance or make music unto God, we learned a simple but most profound act of worship. This worship can be described as dependence. As little babes we learned to depend on our parents for all that we needed. We learned to reach out with our arms and cry at the top of our lungs an incoherent yelp that could only translated by one gifted to interpret tongues as “ABBA FATHER!”

Perhaps God did create us to depend utterly on Him, as a little babe and as grown men and women yet precious children in His eyes. Can you help but reach out to the Father in those moments of complete dependence? Can you help but cry out to the Abba when your perfect Father is the only one who knows the joys and torments of your inner-most being? Our hands turn to Him, our cries reach His ears, and as the Father He picks us up in strength and gentleness simultaneously into the comforting arms of our Abba.

Because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts,
the Spirit who calls out, “Abba, Father.” Galatians 4:6

 

 

Follower

Orientation is fully under way. Tomorrow I register for classes. I also find out how competent I am with the Bible. I realize I am not at all.

There was a brief moment during all the orientating where we had a time to reflect on a certain passage fro John. The methods to my conclusions, I feel, are a little charismatic, but I think they hold valid. So take it for what it is.

(The Baptist) John’s ministry was in full effect, but he understood that it was in preparation for Jesus’ own ministry. He adamantly denied that he was the Christ but that the Christ would surpass him. Skip a few verses, we see that John points out the Christ, that is Jesus, and his disciples follow him for the day. Jesus begins to gather his disciples.

It seems like the obvious thing to do is what these disciples just did. Who wouldn’t follow Jesus knowing that he is the Son of God? God has brought into question who or what I am truly following. Am I a disciple of Christ? Or am I a disciple of something else? When I dig down deep, I think that I am more a follower of the church than I am of Jesus. In all the meeting people and going to this thing and that, Jesus is getting pushed back more and more.

God is calling me to see Jesus, saying, “Look, the Lamb of God!” He is calling me to drop that thing that Jesus surpasses and follow him. The disciples stepped away from the good to follow God. I too need to recognize what is merely good and what is really God.

The next day John was there again with two of his disciples. When he saw Jesus passing by, he said, “Look, the Lamb of God!”

When the two disciples heard him say this, they followed Jesus. Turning around, Jesus saw them following and asked, “What do you want?”

They said, “Rabbi” (which means Teacher), “where are you staying?”

“Come,” he replied, “and you will see.”

So they went and saw where he was staying, and spent that day with him. It was about the tenth hour.

John 1:35-39

Fare the Sea and It’s Farers

Excerpt from The Seafarer

This the man does not know for whom on land it turns out most favorably,
how I, wretched and sorrowful,
on the ice-cold sea dwelt for a winter in the paths of exile,
bereft of my kinsmen, hung about with icicles; hail flew in showers.

Seafarers are, in general, men and women who’s lives are spent mostly on the open sea. They travel for months at a time from port to port with no escape. Essentially their life is the ship.

Today I was able to participate in a ministry, with Highrock Church (more about this in future posts), at theNew England Seafarers Mission (NESM). NESM exists to provide care and support for the men and women who port in Boston. This covers a wide range of needs, from resources to call and send money home as well as spiritual support for those who have been away for months at a time. It is one example of incarnational ministry, “the arena of everyday living”.

I spent most of the time placing wire transfers to a handful of different countries, a couple hundred to a thousand dollars at the most. A few times I did wonder why people would send only a hundred dollars, it didn’t seem worth the value of the service fee they had to pay. But we were informed that a hundred dollars can feed a family for a month in some countries, and realized that there is more at stake than the men and women that go through there. The people that come through are from different countries earning money to support their families back home.

NESM is a harbor (any place of shelter or refuge) within a harbor for many. I hope and pray that God uses it beyond the things that we can immediately see.

Let us ponder where we have our homes and then think how we should get thither,
and then we should all strive that we might go there to the eternal blessedness
that is a belonging life in the love of the Lord, joy in the heavens.